Gone, but never forgotten

Last Monday evening I received a phone call from the Hospice nurse late in the day. She said she didn't expect my dad to make it through the night. Though we had heard them say that a couple of times before I called my brother to let him know.

Later that evening Keith and I went to the nursing home to visit. When we walked in I saw my aunt (my late uncle's wife) and 2 of my cousins. It was great to see them even under conditions like that. Keith and I walked over to my dad to say hello and he was mostly out of it. He flinched a little when I rubbed his head but that was it.

We visited with my cousins and aunt for a bit and then my brother and his family showed up. Keith and I stayed until about 10:30 and then came home. When we got in the car we both said that we thought my dad would definitely make it through the night.

We were wrong.

At 1:05am my dad took his last breath. My brother was there with him. I think my dad must have known that many of us were there to say good bye.

As you can well imagine the rest of the week was crazy and hectic. We decided on a memorial service for Saturday.

Amongst all of this craziness, my sister and Tim started school the day after my dad died and I had to take Aaron to his school for pictures and form filling out.

We (read: my brother) spent a great deal of time on Thursday and Friday getting pictures scanned to a DVD and making boards to display at the memorial. And while it was physically taxing and emotionally draining it was really quite fun looking through all of those old pictures of my dad and our family. Every picture held a story and a special memory for us.

Friday evening we had a visitation. And as much as it stunk to see people under those conditions it was really nice to see people we hadn't seen in years.

Saturday morning we had another visitation and then the memorial service after that. The service was very nice and my sister got up to speak about her memories of my dad. My sister-in-law Michelle also spoke of her fondness for my dad too.

I will leave you with her eulogy as I feel that it spoke volumes of my dad's character and persona.

I have had the honored privilege to have had Tom in my life for just over 25 years. In all those years I can honestly say that I have never even once heard him utter an unkind word about anyone.

He was a peacekeeper--quick to change an uncomfortable conversation or awkward situation by suddenly making some random comment that would make everyone around him laugh out loud.

He had an admirable sense of humor and ability to change any subject with grace and dignity.

He was a talented man, a skilled drummer who was never boastful of his lofty accomplishments--in fact only recently had his children been told that he played along side the likes of famed jazz musician Stan Kenton.

He was a generous and unselfish man, a man who when became ill and worried about paying his medical bills considered selling his prized drum set in leiu of parting with his wife's most prized possessions, even though she pre-deceased him by five years.

He was faithful and dependable--staying with the same company his entire adult working life.

He unabashedly loved his grandchildren and relished each visit he had with them.

Never once did I ever doubt his love for his wife, children or even for myself. He always treated me with such genuine kindness and affection and greeted me with bear hugs every time we got together.

It is rare to meet such a person in our harried, busy world--He was the type of person we should all aspire to emulate and I feel truly blessed to have had him in my life for so long.


Peace be with you, dad. You were one of the good ones.